You cannot count on anyone but yourself....

Nothing is as good as it ever seems.  Aaron has his own agenda and he's using me.  It's not a fair trade at all.  I don't think I can get along with his personality.  He's too intense and rude and it turns me off.  I should have known better because I didn't have a good impression of him from the beginning.  He's just rude.  I'm just asking him what he's buying and he has to respond with "Whaaat!"  What the hell.  I don't get this guy at all and I'm not going to be generous or nice to people that have an agenda.

I can't believe I even considered helping a guy that I barely know for less than 3 weeks.  Stop being so stupid Uni.  He has nothing else to offer and is going to leave you spending so much time and money, not to mention your sanity.  You have to ask yourself whether it is worth it to get help for hair? Of course not.  I'm not getting good vibes.  I did some snooping on facebook and found out that he has a gf and that he's possibly already married.

My best source is Emma and myself and my own personal search.

I must say that I feel depressed today.  I have the flu and it's been pouring rain nonstop for the last couple days.  I feel foolish for being tricked.

I am on my own again.  Should I just commute back and forth again?  I don't know what to do anymore.  I can't believe I thought he could care about me.

The Singaporean

Now that I'm 3/4 done with school I feel that I am really in my place as a beginner.  I missed 14+ salon days and took personal/sick days on top of that leaving me 200 hours behind.

I am so lucky to have Aaron as a friend.  He's helping me with hair and he had a nice position with Toni & Guy before.  He's really great.  I need to overlook his secretiveness, his Singaporean accent and his facial features.  He's really a weirdo but he's cool.  I'm grateful because of him and he's inspiring me to become much better as a hair stylist/student.  He's so positive and helpful.  He keeps joking about me being his GF and I think he's saying that cause he wants someone to help him get his citizenship.

Today was alright.  We are with Randall all week.  I had a male client today and embarrassed myself with my cutting.  I'm grateful that Aaron is helping me with scissor over comb otherwise I'd be so clueless.  He's really a gift to me and I got lucky.  I think I have a reason for going to school and reason to keep going on.

We took my fringe up with a tilt and Sarah curled my hair with an iron.  Mary Louise showed me the Le Baiser collection of the smooth straight fringe with the contrast of curly hair.  She's so pretty.

Angels on my side

Seriously... sometimes life is the luck of the draw.  I am 75% done with Sassoon and I am finding that I can't do jack shit.  But Emma and Aaron are more than willing to help me out.  I do have people looking out for me and I do get lucky.  I think it would be perfect to work with them everyday.  Just truck on and get good at it.

Today was not bad either

(listening to Brian Eno)

Today was not so bad either.  I was just tired and sick.  I got to school on time and slept a good amount.  We cut with Sally today in class, my fave instructor of all time.  I find her stylish, artsy, witty, fun, easy-going and really inspires me to understand more about hair.  She has a natural sense of artistic techniqalities and design.  She just gets it and knows what she's doing.  I want to learn all about hair from her point of view because I like the way she teaches it!

I cut this Korean girl's hair today.  She is studying to become a nutritionist and I think that's cool.  She has ultra thick and coarse hair.  Very beautiful quality hair.  There were many jumps around the hairline so Sally helped me with the first two sections.  You have to put in very fine tension with your fingers.  You almost have to be delicate about it.  I like this about cutting a line because I have the ability for soft and fine details.  I am sensitive to the intricacies of touch.  I can make a person feel cared for with my sense of touch and care of attention to precision and detail.  In a way it's like doing makeup.  Once you understand the basic tools, it's all about your sense of control and having a sensitivity to details and a good aesthetic/technical eye to beauty and suitability.  You are not only helping to style your client's hair but the person entirely.  I think I love the techniqality of Vidal Sassoon, their edgy style, and how they talk about hair so beautifully. 

My mom foresaw what I might like about hair and I think I understand why now. 

My cutting skill went up a notch today as did my blowdrying.  Emma taught me about sectioning the hair for blow dry.  How to hold the dryer and how to aim the hair with the heat.  I think Emma is a sweet gal.

Also I didn't have a second client so I worked on my dollhead.  I did round graduation from the front of the face.  I took diagonal sections that Sally helped me get started on one side.  Her diagonal section was more horizontal.  The other side I started had a more steep or vertical section.  The vertical section would remove more weight and make the haircut look lighter.  The horizonal seciton will build more weight and be heavier.  It depends what you want to give the client.  God I love Sally.  Also I kept in mind to mirror the sections with my finger.  And stand accordingly to the shape you're going for.  I gotta say that I am learning good suff and it's starting to make sense.  Justin has a hard, rough touch.  I have a gentle and subtle touch.  It must be interesting to see things from a teacher's view as she gets to see what each student is doing and make assessments about their doings. 

It's Friday and I was actually feeling kind of depressed (because it's Friday) but then again, who made this notion about having to do something fun on a Friday?  Fuck that.  I can do whatever the hell I want without having others judge me.  Particularly me because I am my own worst judge. 

But I feel fine now.  I love blogging and I love listening to music and getting high.  It helps me relax and do the things I like to do even if I may not get everything done.  But I do what I can do.  As long as I am working towards what I want in my life then I say it's healthy enough.  I don't need a therapist or someone to validate it for me.  I can be my own best friend.  I kind of like listening to Brian Eno when I'm high. 

Today was actually okay.

I'm sick this week and yesterday I rushed home to get antibiotics for myself on a weeknight.  Getting off the pot wasn't so successful but I quit smoking joints which is an overall improvement.  Unfortunately I also got a marijuana card/certificate and "skipped" a day of school due to being sluggish and sick.  Soon after my sore throat turned into a full blown cold and then I had a photo shoot to complete.  I got through with it and told myself that I would survive the day.  Lucas was surprisingly nice about it.  I used Justine's friend Trina as my hair model.  It turned out awesome.  I don't know if Justine was just being extra sweet or just herself but I am a nice girl that's been generous to everyone.  I'm generally well liked in class.  Jenny moved into my place this week and Irv moved out. 

Today I woke up late.  Had Aaron clock me in at school.  Went to class and Melissa was our instructor for cutting.  I gave Leonara a chin length bob.  She was an elderly woman but was polite and kind.  She told me that I gave her a nice shampoo.  I think elders appreciate me because I am kind and I acknowledge them.  I really don't mind doing charity work but I must find out what it is I can do to help or assist them. 

Emma helped me with my blowdry.  She is so awesome and kind.  Then I drove her and Aaron to Bundy Ave. to check out a room to rent for Emma.  Meh. The owner freaked Emma out and it was clearly on her face and expression.  It was cultural incompatibility and personality clash.  LOL.  Emma is easy to read.  We had dinner on Sawtelle and I ordered udon soup and fatty salmon.  After that we went to CVS followed by Walgreens.  We spent a friggin long time wandering around in the store.  Emma is hilarious.  She was in the candy section for almost an hour.  I went home.  Got lit with my vaporizer thanks to my stoner buddy.  Cleaned up a few corners of my place.... not completely but it's something.  My place needs work and cleaning.  The top of the closet area is dusty and the light is broken.  The bathroom filter needs to be changed.  The toilet keeps making an annoying flush sound. 

I can't stop coughing.  I need to see a doctor for my strep throat problem.

Makeup

It is now day four of being pot-free.  A nice pat on the back please.  When I write on this blog I think the big thing is to focus on the big picture and getting ahead by thinking positively.  A representative, actually the regional manager of M.A.C. in the westside came to our school today to give us a makeup demo.  That was actually a ton of fun!  I am going to be part of the fashion and beauty industry so the whole point is to get out there and meet like minded people.

Also having Dusan from Washington DC guide us through our development is really awesome.  He was quite inspiring and taught us to take away the best we can from the negative instructors because it's all about what you get from it in the long run.  I really need to take advantage of being around talented creative professionals.  First, make a massive study out of hair and then focus in on the questions that you have.  I stayed after school to watch Justine have her haircut.

We went out to celebrate Emma's belated birthday dinner at Barney's Beanery.  After that we watched "Love and Other Drugs."  It was kinda too cheesy to be an independent movie.  It was kinda mainstream actually.  But whatever.  All in all, a rather fun day!

Cutting hair again

I was able to cut hair today after not doing it for three months!!!  Not only did I give a woman layers and a line and learn a little more about blowdrying, I even got a haircut for myself!  =)  Toussan, the assistant creative director from the Sassoon in dc gave me some helpful tips.  So focus on the positives.

I am also on day two of being sober.  And, I managed to practice singing a little bit.

The only thing I let get in the way of it was being fixated on my anger towards Irv.  He accidently left the garage door open even though he did close it.  I was not pleased that he sounded glib about it and not all that apologetic.  That had me pissed and seething for an hour.  I get mad easily.

One thing I need to work on is not holding grudges and not being paralyzed by fear.

Irritated

I'm trying to get my shit together and it doesn't help when I'm around others who don't have their shit together, especially when they don't even care to try. Kenny is a fucking loser and I am sorry that I ever invited him into my life. There is nothing that I can respect about him. He drives a dirty, crappy car with no rims. He's a pothead and dealer. He dresses very ghetto and he is conversationally and socially inept. He is also unattractive and has poor posture. He is tall and carries himself awkwardly. He has the worst haircut that is unflattering to his facial features. A long face and jaw, tiny snake eyes, a big protruding Jewish nose, a big Joker mouth and when he smiles his teeth could scare a child. He speaks in short, slow phrases to finally complete a sentence. He gets lost in thought and is self-absorbed and totally in his own world. I cannot tolerate listening to him talk because he doesn't make sense and he sounds stupid. I cannot stand his voice either because it's so low, muffled, nasal and he sounds so spacey and retarded. He is so clueless and he doesn't care that he is this way to others. I am embarrassed to be seen with him. I have run out of patience to deal with this person.  I do not feel secure at all about my involvement with him.  He does not have what it takes to be successful.  I find that all I want to do is pick on him, nag at him and bitch him out.  I want him out of my life.