Working on myself and an old fantasy

Once upon a time I had the hots for Bryan.  I think I had him in my thoughts year after year, especially when I think about the years I truly had growing up with music.  You think of the musicians and people that surround you.  I fantasize about having a love affair with Bryan later down the road.  There is a time for things like that.  I think I really believe in the concept of timing.  That is something to explore.

I really want to make myself hot.  Hot on my own terms and how I personally choose to define it.  Being hot to me is like being fresh.  It's staying in tune with my dreams and possibilities and going for my desires without inhibition.  Living it strong and courageously.  It's inventing and reinventing myself in thought and in fashion.  I want to be a good hair stylist and have a personal style that is all my own so people can say that is so Uni! I want to be stylish in terms of fashion, music, film, books and current, modern thought.  Secondly, I want to be an amazing person and friend.  Smart, beautiful, talented, knowledgeable, a good person.  I also want to be a singer.  This is an area I need to get back to completing and exploring.  I can prove that this is the test of what I really want to be good at.  I am 31, not 21.  But, I am already musically talented and have a natural ability for it.  I just need more practice and development with my voice and then confidence will take me the other 50% of the way.

I need to come up with a plan for how to balance these two things.  I started music school when I was 21 and now I'm 31.  I cannot for the life of me, let myself spend another decade accomplishing a life without my involvement in music.  And the next decade is going to rush by twice as fast I won't know where the time is going.  I need a complete overhaul in the way I do things.

Here's what I want for myself:

1)  Exercise and healthy food diet
2) Quit pot
3) Finish school and study hard in all areas.  There are 3 weeks left.  Use this time to treat it as if you were studying for finals. For state board, memorize procedures and read all about cosmetology because it will probably be the last lesson I learn about biology, chemistry, anatomy and disorders.  I want to be as knowledgeable as I can about our human body.  Doing hair is a skill that is overlooked.  Hair comprises the components of "being" the physical human, involves a type of art/technical trade that transforms people while taking care of their grooming needs.
4) Be good at hair.  Really good.
5) Be a really good singer.
6) Maybe be a mother or a therapist.


and....
7) Possibly meet and live happily with the man of my wildest dreams.....