My anxiety

I smoke too much pot to numb my anxiety and fears.

I must do more research on medical marijuana and its affect on anxiety and depression.

I must understand what it is I am feeling about Aaron.  Sometimes I think I just fantasize a lot because I want to be loved and receive physical affection.  I also want to escape my lonely reality.  Other times I tell myself he is not someone I should even think about hooking up with.  I think we are better off as friends but something changed between us.  I can't be easy-going anymore and there is a weird tension between us.  I get jealous and upset when he gives others attention and ignores me.

I know I am suffering from something and it's probably time that I get myself help.  So how do I not get so emotional and upset around him?  And he's completely flawed and a bit of a weirdo himself.  I don't really understand him and I must learn what's going on with him.  Does he have a mental illness, does he have split personality?