I feel the need to rant and vent. My roommate is a mean jerk and I am an idiot for choosing to live with him. Call it desperation or loneliness. That was my choice and it wasn't the wisest. I hate living with him and I hate his personality. There is nothing beneficial about having this kind of friend and waiting for him to have his good moments. I can't bother with it. The friendship is pretty much over. I am going to move on not waste anymore thought or energy. Fuck I am depressed, should I get on Celexa again?
I have to admit that I fumbled onto personal stuff. I feel sorry for him that he is the way he is. He can't have quality and close relationships with anyone because he is not willing to reflect or make room for improvement for himself. Leading a person astray into thinking that things are not over is pretty cruel and selfish. Mainly it's to make himself feel better. I think he is a hateful and ugly person inside out. He is rude, moody, doesn't greet you or wait for you at school or inform you about anything.
Do not expect or hope for anything from this person. Again, just focus on yourself. No matter how flawed and fucked up he is, the sum of his actions will only result in you resenting him and getting hurt. I would hate to be his girlfriend. He left her and then he flirted with me. Of course, he's an immature baby and retreated and stepped back from being nice. He was only being nice to get what he wanted. No more favors for this douche. I want to understand why I spend so much time being upset and getting affected by his presence. I just can't tolerate it. I think I feel "sick" living with him. I want to have meaningful, respectful and healthy friendships. I don't think the answer is turning to medication. After soiree (or if I don't do it), I'm going to exercise everyday.
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