I am definitely better than I was one year ago. At least with my current mental state. The only thing is that I've become a functional pothead and I don't practice singing ever. It was quite an accomplishment that I'm starting to hang around people. Being in school and smoking pot has pretty much desensitized my worries. The only thing I'm struggling with is my overtime schedule but I want to make the best of it.
I had lunch with Lydia and got to know her a little. She's a little all over the place and very ambitious. My goal is to not smoke pot today. I also need to start working out and singing again. I'm going to try. If I really need to smoke then I will just pull out my vaporizer. There really is no need for me to be smoking joints and shit. Kenny is a fucking idiot sometimes and I can't stand his lack of inner strength and direction. He just comes off as not having a definite point of view, he's just not very discerning as a person. Ugh. He is one person I should stay away from. Kris too. Oh my goodness. What is wrong with the poor girl? She is all over the place! Frantic, manic, a mess. She makes me nervous because she talks at 100 mph and freaks out about everything. I can't have a conversation with her without getting pissed off. I thought she was tolerable when I was high but she is difficult even when I'm high. It's kind of annoying that she thinks with all her thoughts out loud. She shares her thinking process with everyone and it's a mess. Not very comfortable. And she has no manners when she talks like a bratty child. My god. I think I need to rearrange my life and have new friends.
I think I invite weird people into my life and I only hang out with people that have problems. Urgh. It's like I don't know how to be around normal, typical people. I need to be around people that are more level headed and grounded. My friends are a mess. And I hang around them to distract me.
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