What I did by staying in SM late Sunday night and Monday

So....have I been productive?

When I got home last night Aaron wasn't home.  (I spent a movie afternoon with Kenny and smoked a joint in the parking lot.  I also picked up the new dmv license registration card.)

This morning I woke up around 9am (it's daylight savings spring one hour forward).

I cleaned the apartment (hardwood floors, carpets, and family room and cleaned the bathroom shower, tub as well as bleaching the kitchen sink).  I also did 3 loads of laundry including my bedding, dropped my clothes at the dry cleaner's and picked up lunch at Santa Monica Seafood.

I am now going to spend the early evening until bedtime to work on my abc and hair notes.  It's kind of nice to run some errands and then smoke, and then work on your stuff at a relaxed pace until bedtime.  I'll have about 4 hours, which is pretty much all the concentration I could ever have.  Really also spend some time reading the notes.  So a good balance of notes and videos.

Living with Aaron is like being in a bad relationship. Almost like the way my parent's marriage felt over the years.  Now I am in my mother's shoes battling it.  He did like me before and I rejected his advances.  It's because he's a psychotic borderline and I need to be with someone kind, honest, communicative and emotionally mature.  The day at WF he asked me if I still missed him and gave me a hug from behind.  There was something in the beginning but it was brief.  Even I fantasized about what it might be like with him.  I have a tendency to fantasize about what it may be like with someone.  But that is called idealization and I'm sex starved.

I have a microfiber sheet that I have to dry but I'm too lazy to go out to get a quarter to dry it in the machine.  Ugh.  I'd rather not care about what happens to it.  Maybe Aaron (uh if he does his laundry) will dry it for me. LOL.  What a silly thought.  That guy would not do anything nice for you.  Don't expect tiny miracles.  LOL.  Stay very, very very, very, very. very far far far far away from Aaron.  He is pure poison for you right now.  He is going through problems right now that you should stay out of.  It will not benefit you.  He doesn't want to do anything about it right now.

Yes, spend a good amount of self-care and quality time for yourself.  Treat yourself real good.  =)

And don't feel guilty for it.  Buy what you want, eat what you want, rest and give yourself the pampering this entire month while you study.  Study is central, but allow yourself all the pleasures to yourself.